Thursday, October 02, 2014

Caroline's Continuation of Lewis Carroll's "Mad Gardner's Song"

Been a while! Been working on revising Meeshtar's Adventures, but thought I'd take a break from that mad house, so I could entertain you with my own additions to Lewis Carroll's "Mad Gardner's Song." Read his first, then mine.

I also would like to open the comment section to verses you create--should you desire to add on. It's quite a lot of fun! So come on, join in!

Caroline's Continuation of Lewis Carroll’s Mad Gardner’s Song

He thought he saw a Wild Baboon
With oysters on his head.
He looked again and found it was
A man who'd just been wed.
"She must'a boxed his ears," he said,
"I've never seen such dread!"

He thought he saw a Kitty Cat 
Parading though the town.
He looked again and found it was 
An Old Man in a Gown.
“And with a trail of rats,” he said,
“That man could wear the crown!”

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
Sword fighting with a flea.
He looked again and found it was
The Quangle Wangle Quee.
“Beneath that great big hat,” he said,
“How can it rightly see?”

He thought he saw a Parachute
Free-falling with a slug.
He looked again and saw it was
His boss’s Coffee Mug.
“Oh, don’t you sip from that!” he said,
Then chucked it to the rug.

He thought he saw Cartwheeling Moose
Shaking their tambourines.
He looked again and saw it was 
A plate of Kidney Beans.
“If we eat those, I’m sure,” he said,
“We’ll need to get new spleens!”

He thought he saw a Lightning Bug
Just sitting down to tea.
He looked again and found it was
Merely a Water Flea.
“Oh I should like, so much,” he said,
“To join it in the sea!”

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Don't Forget to Lift Your Feet When You Land!

My sister is on a plane at this very moment, flying back from Canada, and just before her plane took off, I sent her a text to this effect:

"Don't forget to lift thine pieds."

(which is our mixed concoction of Modern English, Middle English, and French--we do this all the time for no other reason, than it's funny.)

And it made me laugh, because I know that, should the FBI come across that text, they may arrest me for suspicion of conspiracy against the airline--or something of that nature. In other words, to anyone outside my immediate family, I'm talking utter nonsense. And yes, this blog is definitely all about nonsense, but I won't leave you in the dark on this one--well, not completely, anyway (you may still wonder about my sanity, and that's okay).

"Don't forget to lift your feet," is not referring to the take-off, or the flight itself. It's in reference to the landing. In other words, "Don't forget to lift your feet when you land."

I'm sure you all have millions of questions, so let me explain:

I'm not sure how old I was at the time, but on one of our many family vacations--probably to visit my dad's parents in Texas--we were sitting over the wings (the place my dad always insists on sitting because he says it's the safest place to be, should the plane crash--nice flying mantra, right?), and we heard the wheels come down right before we landed. They made that ERRRRRRRRRCH noise as they popped out from their secret trap door beneath the plane.

Anyway, my dad said, "Yep, and there go the wheels."--meaning, the pilots remembered to put the wheels down--not that the wheels had fallen off (thank goodness, though that thought probably went through my mind at the time).

And then, it occurred to me to ask, "what would actually happen if the pilot forgot to put the wheels down?"

And the answer I received was, "Well, the bottom of the plane would probably burn off in the landing."

I looked down at my feet, and thought, well if that happens, I don't want it to burn my feet off!

So, from that flight forward, My sister and I began the tradition of lifting our feet as the plane lands--you know... just in case. And every time we fly somewhere, we remind each other to do so.

Now I would like to urge all of you--for the sake of keeping your feet intact--to please remember to "lift thine pieds" every time you fly. And, if you're sitting next to me on a flight, you won't have to wonder, "What on Earth is that girl doing with her feet in the air?"

Friday, March 14, 2014

Playtime's Over, Sammy, Dear!


Oh goodness gracious, Sammy, dear,
It’s the worst mess I’ve ever seen!
Whatever have you done in here?

There’ll be no snack ’til it gets clean.
Go get the bucket and the mop.
It’s the worst mess I’ve ever seen!

Wherever did you find this slop?
Even the walls are caked in goo!
Go get the bucket and the mop.

Oh, great! You’re gum’s stuck to my shoe!
And every fixture wears your sludge.
Even the walls are caked in goo!

You’d better wipe down every smudge
Clean up that egg, and wipe the lights!
For every fixture wears your sludge.

Just how’d you think you had the rights?
Oh, goodness gracious, Sammy dear,
Clean up that egg, and wipe the lights!
Whatever have you done in here?

Let's just hope this isn't YOUR house. :) haha! Have a wonderful, gunk-free, Friday!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Scorpion's Snare--Welcome to the Bloody Valentine Blog Hop



Valentines Day!

Today, while most people are sniffing carnations and roses, indulging in gooey-stuffed chocolates, going out to romantic candlelight dinners (or for those stuck in the snow, possibly ordering in), or sharing those tart heart-shaped candies--we (that is, my fellow poets and I) are delving into the heart-shattering, streaming-tears-till-the-world-floods-out, dark and terrible side of love. 

Welcome to the Bloody Valentines Day Blog Hop, everyone! I hope you enjoy all the heart wrenching (and hopefully somewhat humorous) poetry we have to offer. Once you read my Bloody Valentine, please hop on over to A. F. Stewart's blog, read her bloody valentine, and then keep hopping! Some poets may have prizes and giveaways on their sites for you as well, so make sure to check it out. 

And now... prepare your clothes for the cleaners, my friends, because this will get bloody!


Blue-velvet butterfly flits over and under
December gusts above lapping, rolling waves.

Horn-fire-scorpion with locked pincers outstretched,
Welcomes her to shore, with his devil-eye-masked-sideways-grin:

He beckons her with clasped claws concealed.
Inland she flies, then comes to rest alongside;

She gazes into his median-eye. The silver moon & stars blur,
dancing in all eight red-snap poison-dart eyes.

He lures her in, this steaming hunk-of-shell;
But as poison bubbles in venom-glands, and aculeus

Prepares to sting, his shifting eyes soothe her velvet
Wings, and through the wood they flit and titter,

Side-by-side, this butterfly and scorpion.
Wing and pincer embrace alongside streaming riverbeds,

Then, duck behind waterfalls that pour torrential teardrops down
Effervescent veils and sheathing.

Inside their enchanted cavern, the aculeus

Scorpion swarms with his venomous sting, pounding velvet
Flesh: crimson beads, streams, surges, floods-dirt, and stains.

Another morsel: Scorpion chews blue-velvet, then retreats
to await his second-course.

~ Caroline Adele O'Brien

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Bored? Well...

Go ahead.

Spin the wheel...


(and if you get a Tyrannian Paint Brush, my screen name is Amalynai--send it my way! Joking. Please, don't. Take it to the trading post! You can then earn tons of neopoints--or... you can be lame, and paint your pet with it at the rainbow pool.)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Parting Blue And A Little Something Ghastly...

The paperback version of Parting Blue is available now!!! And I couldn't be more pleased with the result. The end product looks beauteous, if I do say so myself (Check out the Books In Print page for an excerpt). It can now be purchased at CreateSpace, or Amazon. If you own a Kindle, and you have a Prime membership through Amazon, you can now borrow my book on your kindle for free!!! (though be forewarned about the terrible formatting on the Kindle--the paperback version is fantastic, though, so I'm not forewarning about that one--and yes, I'm still working on the kindle version. I'm hoping to have it fixed by the end of the month). And feel free to leave me a comment or two.

I'm also a listed author on Goodreads now!! Whoop Whoop! So if you have a goodreads account, and feel like stopping by to say hello, please do! And by all means, if you're reading my book, add it to your collection! And feel free to give me feedback! I'd love it, even if you tell me it's absolutely the worst book you've ever read, ever! That's what Meeshtar would tell me--I mean, considering it's not HIS book, after all. He wants me to publish that one. But it has a little work to do still--though it's coming along quite nicely, and I really think everyone will be truly pleased with it when I'm done.

I'm getting ready to go to New York City in a few days for SCBWI's National Writer's Conference. So, it won't happen this month, but starting next month, keep an eye on my blogs and my website, because I will hopefully have some live events coming up.

And now, I'm about to admit to something ghastly. (As Meeshtar would say) I've  never--in all my thirty-plus-seven years of life--ever done something this geeky before! I'm afraid to have to inform you that yours truly actually entered two poems into a (a-hem...) Neopets (Oh man, I'm so embarrassed) poetry competition. I haven't heard back yet (though I check my neo-mail account every day, at least ten times, hoping for a response). But I'm hoping at least one of the poems--namely "Petpet's Dilemma," will be published on their site, as it's quite funny. But I guess, it may not be so funny if you don't know a darned thing about Neopets, and... well... I'm afraid that I spend WAY too much time on there. I practically live on Neopets.

Oh man. Now I've admitted too much. 

Though I didn't inform you that I actually have a neohome on Mystery Island. I take part in the Altador Cup every single year. And I visit the Island Mystic every day to get my fortune (today's was "You will be chased by legions of rampaging Nimmos." I guess I had better be on the lookout, then!) Oh, and did I mention that I have a Safety Deposit Box so full of neojunk from the money tree, that I actually received the "Packrat" avatar? It takes at least 1000 unique items to get that. And I scrounged and pinched and saved up neopoints for months on end--literally enough months to constitute a near decade--to buy a Gallion for my Ogrin, and now that a few years have passed, you'd think the stupid Gallion would be worth more than I bought it for--considering it's rare status and all--but... well, I payed 165,000 neopoints for it, and it now only costs 18,000. What a waste of my life! Do you know how many trips through the Ice Cream Machine it took to get all those neopoints? Good lord. I don't want to know.

In any case, if I don't end up getting one, or both (or any for that matter), of those poems published on Neopets, then I will post them on here for your giggling pleasure. In the meantime, give my poems a "Whoop Whoop" and maybe toss a few turnips at your neighbor for luck. Just don't accidentally smack them in the head, or they may get violent. We're not on Planet Meowse, after all. But--check beneath your kitchen cabinet, because you never know. That turbaned Meowse may be lurking in your walls, waiting to catch your cat in his trap! Maybe you can snap a photo of him with his turban slipping over his eye, put the photo on e-bay, and make a few bucks! Ok... I'm tired. It's past dinner time and I think my brain's going all wooblie on me--and yes, I think I just made that word up. Use it. It will get you brownie points.

On a more normal note, Valentines Day is Friday, and I will have "Dark-Side-of-Love" goodies for ya, so stop on by! Till then, have a wonderful evening!!! And if you decide to partake in Neo-nonsense, be mindful of the Skeith. He's kinda angry cuz I owe him a bunch of neopoints.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Caroline has self-published her first poetry book!


Paperback Version (Coming Soon)
 I have published my first poetry book! It's currently available on the Kindle for $7.50 (though I'm still working out kinks, so if you purchase it, expect updates, as the formatting is a bit off throughout. I designed it for the Kindle Fire, because that's the only option they gave me, but it looks shoddy on the iPad and the regular kindle right now. I'm hoping to fix that soon). But, if you wait a little longer, I will also have a paperback version of the book available on Amazon (among other places) for $12.50. I'm waiting for the company to proof it, then send me an e-mail to go ahead and publish it. So, I should hopefully have it up by tomorrow night.

If you are an avid follower of my blog, you will recognize many, if not all, of the twenty poems in the book. Most of them (save two) have appeared here at one time or another. But, in the book version, they are accompanied by full-color photographs taken by (ahem) yours truly. Hehe! The book is broken into three shades of blue:

1) Ice Water & Ocean Blue Dust

2) Midnight Blue: A Ghostly Hue

3) Living Turquoise Prayers

The twenty poems include some of my favorites to date: "Of Waterfalls & Eyes," "Nightmare America," "Riptide," "The Tenant," "One October Morning," and "Oh, Phooey!" 

Oh, and the best part? If you are an Amazon Prime member, you can "borrow" my book free!! If you're not a Kindle owner, don't worry. After my 90 day contract with Amazon ends, I will be uploading it for other e-readers as well.

Kindle Version
So now I can actually say "I'm published" and mean it! I mean, I had one poem previously published, and I publish all the time on my blog, but now I actually have a book available! :) WHOOP WHOOP! Now, if only I can get Meeshtar's Adventures off and running--though that one I really want to have published traditionally. So that's going to take some time.

Anyhow, thought I'd share the good news! I will let you all know when my print version is available. Until then, enjoy the Kindle version, and if you get a chance, rate it on Amazon and leave me a comment or two. I'd love to hear from you!

Take care and have a wonderful afternoon!

Saturday, January 25, 2014


Her corpse hath risen from the dead
The grave’s no place to lie her head
She came to live with me instead

She slumbers in her morning lace
Then through the night, the grounds she’ll pace
So I wear garlic just in case

Her skin is rotting off, I swear
Can see the flakes caked in her hair
I hope she keeps it in her lair

Her decomposing-carcass-scent
Comes wafting down the hallway vent
I guess, at least, she’s paying rent

~ by Caroline Adele O'Brien

Thursday, January 02, 2014


what’s the sky’s limit these days?
the midnight song with old american walking stick
linger longer in the sunshine meadow anyway & conk

out with these broken body parts?
I broke my toe but it’s alright the noggin’ still works
waiting for all limbs to rot off fall off break in

alpha dox para dox sing song lamb & cry?
the beak squeaks & peaks to shriek its weakling tweet
thru noses in the midnight moonlight starlight flight tho

didn’t the wind take it along when it wisped?
lapped in danced shadows up the morning milk
with the cat in the tree eating sun colored pea singing

oooo shoobee doobee its a shame no?
to lose one’s toe is nay but a minor setback
out with these ol’ body parts these limbs but

what souls count in this drifting wood?
the ones that float that’s all my sly
schieving friend thats all is it

out with the old toe before or after this show starts?
what god gave us is defective we need more
plastic to pull through the whiney years so

what’s the sky’s limit, then, jack?
oh phooey ya old gooey gumshoe host you
didn’cha ever hang nuthin’ from the nail on that toe?

~by Caroline Adele O’Brien

Old Dr. Shinkle and the Mice

Here is a poem I wrote about fifteen years ago. It was originally going to appear in my book, Ruba and the Adventures of Chop Poppin' Slops & Co., but it's since been removed, due to the fact that it has absolutely nothing to do with the plot. So, rather than toss it completely, I thought I'd share it with y'all!


Old and sad was Dr. Shinkle,
His legs would often stall.
He owned no skin without a wrinkle,
And had no sense at all.

To find new meaning in his life,
Shinkle forged a ride.
He built a cannon out of strife
And trickled down inside.

Dr. Shinkle touched his hat
And shot into the air.
Mrs. Shinkle flinched at that,
And shuddered in despair.

Shinkle hung from chandeliers
Like cheese upon the chin,
To waver in the sunlight, there,
And watch the ceiling spin.

From that height, he saw a mouse
Abandoning his kin.
And since they lacked a cozy house,
He welcomed them all in.

Mrs. Shinkle grabbed a broom
And ran about the house,
Cursing with the voice of doom
To frighten every mouse.

Shinkle shook the chandelier,
His arms so strong and stout,
It tumbled down, quite like a spear,
And knocked his good wife out.

With this new peace, the mice did find
A hole within the wall.
They sealed it with a melon rind
And happy they were all.

~ by Caroline Adele O'Brien

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

The Big Yellow House of Eternity & Sleep

Knock, knock, knock!

It's nighttime in The Big-Yellow-House.

Rat-tat-tat-rat-tat-tatledee-tat! Ka-boom, kaboosh, kavrosh!

The phantom with his razors, raps...

rum-rum-rumble-dee-tapity boom, boom, bang!

... on closet doors, the phantom intends to rattle & shake me awake.

In my pajamas, with nightcap pulled over my eyes...

rat-tat-tat!--he raps and quakes.

... blue, blue, sodden-with-browsweat blankets tucked under my chin...

Rrrrrrrrip!--his razors tear at the slitted door.

... and I drift into the knocking, hoping to ignore the ignorant warning of razors that tear at wallpaper.

Errrrrrrrch! bam!

But once his incessant knocking begins, I know I will die.

SKrrreak! bang, bang, bang!

I will die like the last guy who stayed here before me.

Rrrrrrumble, rattle, rip!

and all those other born-lost sailors resting among these big yellow walls who succumbed to the razor-flesh-ripping-heart-out house.

ratatat ratatattle ratt ratt ra...

That's the price for each quaking dream-deep-pillowed-sleep-night in The Big Yellow House. This house's phantom's razors...

 knock-knock-knock & slice! 

... eternally his fleshless razors & knocks.

And as those razors slice me awake, I know that the phantom's no dream, and it is death's knock on those walls. I snatch my dufflebag and...

"Nooooooo!" With that rumbling vibrato, the phantom strikes the closet door and CRASH!

... I race for the front door, but...

"You owe the Big Yellow House a dept!"

... I know there will be blood. My blood. The door's locked. There's no resisting. I owe a life for a night. And so I halt on the stairs in the foyer. The ghostly swirling mass of razor-blade haze rips through my flesh, and I fall...


... Tumble...




... Knowing, there will be orange tulips growing in my blood-&-house wake.

Changing TImes Of Blog and Rhyme--Blue Blue Cat and Chariot

Happy New Year everyone!

For some reason, the children's writer's soul has evaded me for the time being, and I'm having a difficult time writing pure nonsense (in the sense of the nonsense I've written in the past: that is not to say that everything I write isn't purely nonsense, as no sense exists in this). Meeshtar's Adventures helped me to move away from the absence of reality, and while I'm busy revising that novel, it seems now that I only want to write what's real. Now that Meeshtar's Adventures is finished, I would like to recombine my blogs so that all my work is in one place. That way, too, it's less confusing for all of you to follow. So, here is my first post of the year, and I plan on having many many more--though they may not all be nonsense. :)


Candle flickers elegance prisms-with-faces against the plaster walls of the soul so the pulse aches, then opens up the lotus and cries out in vermouth volumes—contagious in living outcries—“Into the chariot with thee!”—Swimming on empty, the canal—it pours out all it’s contents absence of fish and walks about in drag with cigarette smoke swirling curlicues around it’s mystique—long silver cigarette held ‘tween the pinky and thumb like an old-shhh, hushed shushed black-and-white star from 1933—this black-and-white-cat contentedly prowls up from beneath the torn mattress to lick its selfish shellfish dust-clean to gleam, then shimmers glimmers primmers its fur full-gown in the moonlight-golden-glow, out on eternity’s candy-striped fence, shouting to the stars in its howling moon jowling moon prowling moon whine, sipped through red-paint-lips, then dribbles spills pours out in purple-grape-yowls. Twenty-fourteen cars wiz by, pumping hightop hip-hop rap-song cuss-mouth broken-rhyme absence-of-fish absence-of-melody absence-of-sense beat-up break-down harmful heart-full painful talking walking smocking empty-antagonistic gun-blaring bruised-fruit-words—their ripped-knee-pants, with chained wallets-to-pockets falling about their waistlines so their boxers fold out—an era for fashion flubbing flapping abs-of-sense and lack. This cat don’t fit here. This scene’s all wrong! Yet by they fly, and broken—the broken-record-blues pouring out of broken-record-windows that scratch the melody and tear the notes that shred, in their bed—the eternity song pricking the lips and pass this cat by—kick up mud as the wheels spin-sodden and churn. The chariot passed, and there’s no return.

~Caroline Adele O'Brien

I hope you all had a wonderful and safe New Years celebration, and I look forward to entertaining you with words in 2014--and beyond!

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Meeshtar may be gone, but he's not lost!

Well, October 1st came and went. Sadly, Meeshtar's Adventures in the Meowse House has been taken down. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, because I wrote it for this blog. But it had to be done if the book is to ever meet a bookshelf.

If anyone was in the process of reading it, or didn't get a chance to read the whole thing, never fear! One way, or another, it will be published; and as promised, I will keep all of you updated on the progress. I've decided that if this book isn't picked up by a publisher or agent by October 1, 2015, I will self-publish. Who knows. Maybe I'll have my own publishing company--Neet Books--after all. Yes, Meeshtar may be gone, but he will return. And when he does, he'll be better than ever (if my revisions work the way I hope they will)!

And now, Meeshtar and I would like to take a moment to thank all of you lovely readers; for without you, Meeshtar's Adventures would never have come to pass. Thank you for allowing me to take you on this absurd journey through the Meowse Heowse, and for following my crazy mumbo-jumbo. This past year has been a dream! And that dream will continue here at Amalynai's Whimsical World of Nonsense. Let's see what silliness the new year brings, shall we?

And in the meantime, toss those carrots, shirt buttons, and salt shakers! Hop up and down on your retractable seat cushions! And lets all give three hearty "Whoop, Whoop, Whoooooop"-s to Meeshtar as he ventures down the road to publication! :)

Best wishes to all!

Caroline Adele O'Brien

P.S. If you would like to be a beta reader for Meeshtar's Adventures in the Meowse House, keep an eye on this site. It may be a few months before I have the final draft ready, but once it is, I'll put up a call for beta readers. I'll post more about this opportunity as time draws near.

Have a wonderful day!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Gallager G. Golladay's Holiday

Gallager G. Golladay's Holiday

by Caroline Adele O'Brien

Gallager G. Golladay

Lives solely in his daydreams;

A permanent holiday,

Slip-sliding sloping sunbeams.

Through the day he's sleepwalking--

To his poor boss's dismay--

Although he's still restocking

The all-you-can-eat buffet.

A customer's forsakened

Spaghetti gives way; Kersplat!

Poor Golladay awakened

as he stumbled and Dar-blat!

He fell to the parqueted

floor, his sole checkered stocking

flew overhead. "Foulest-play!"

G. Golladay cried, balking.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Captain Ribbity Rukus Says:

Welcome aboard th' Rhonda's Curse!  Arrrr, national talk like a buccaneer tide has come at last!  All ye landlubbers ou' thar best be yakin' like a sea dog, or I'll be havin' yer hade.  An' dasn't ye e'en be thinkin' about stealin' me buried booty.  Thar's a wannion on 't that will rip yer one good eye from thar socket an' tear ye limb from bloody limb.

And dasn't be shirkin' yer duties either.  'Tis nay National Drink like a Gentleman o' Furtune tide, ye bilge rat.  So off yer booty an get t' clistin' th' decks.  We need them ship shape before we ship ou'.  An' can 't wi' th' chanties already.  Ye're givin' me a headache.

Master gunner, clist all cannons an' prepare fer firin'.  We've got ships t' take down before sunset.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


I'm working diligently on the next segment of Meeshtar's Adventures, but didn't quite finish it today.  I just wanted to post a nonsense tyburn I wrote, just for fun.  Here it is:

Caveman Slang Song
by Caroline Adele O'Brien

Ting-um-dee Oogum Boogum
Ting-um-dee boo-guh-dee-boo

Ok, yeah, so that doesn't exactly follow the tyburn rules, but it made me laugh today, so I thought I'd post it and give y'all a good giggle too.  Have a wonderful evening everyone!  I'll try to post Meeshtar's next adventure between tomorrow and Friday.  Sweet dreams!! :)

To All You Alice In Wonderland Lovers Out There...,

Check this song out!  It's a mix using the Disney's Alice in Wonderland album.  This is one of the coolest things I've ever heard.  I used to listen to that album nonstop.  And to hear it remixed, well..., You see where this is going :)  Enjoy!!

"What It Is", by Sole and JC

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Granny's Wrath!

And, for all you limerick lovers out there...,

by Caroline Adele O'Brien

There once was a speckled canary,
Whose head was shaped like a berry.
He dove out of the sky, into Granny's minced pie,
Then escaped Granny's wrath on the ferry!

Have a beautiful weekend, everyone!
There was an error in this gadget